Oh, I love all the different interpretations of Chris. Yours is fascinating.
I don't think Chris has a conscience in a meaningful sense, because all his repentance in canon is selfish fear of hell (except maybe around Toby and Bonnie). But he is scared/ashamed of the monster inside him. I think that's what I had in my own mind with the throwing up. And to my mind that first murder had to be momentous, unless he's killed like that before. I mean, you don't live a normal life for decades and then start serial killing.
I would definitely assume Chris has been coldly violent all his life, but murder is big.
And then there's that... I think it was the conversation with Ronnie, where Ronnie talks about lotsa drugs, lotsa college boys, and one of them - I think Chris - suggests Chris pulled the hold up because he wanted to get caught. And that's... omg, fascinating insight that fanfic seems to have left untapped. So far. :-)
I think it's one of the things SVU does best, showing how the job damages Elliot. In the early seasons Cragen totally accepts Elliot's violent bully act in the interrogation room, but over the years, more often it isn't an act at all. Chris is not a burden Elliot wants or needs.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2015-01-02 09:05 am (UTC)Yay, iskra!
Oh, I love all the different interpretations of Chris. Yours is fascinating.
I don't think Chris has a conscience in a meaningful sense, because all his repentance in canon is selfish fear of hell (except maybe around Toby and Bonnie). But he is scared/ashamed of the monster inside him. I think that's what I had in my own mind with the throwing up. And to my mind that first murder had to be momentous, unless he's killed like that before. I mean, you don't live a normal life for decades and then start serial killing.
I would definitely assume Chris has been coldly violent all his life, but murder is big.
And then there's that... I think it was the conversation with Ronnie, where Ronnie talks about lotsa drugs, lotsa college boys, and one of them - I think Chris - suggests Chris pulled the hold up because he wanted to get caught. And that's... omg, fascinating insight that fanfic seems to have left untapped. So far. :-)
I think it's one of the things SVU does best, showing how the job damages Elliot. In the early seasons Cragen totally accepts Elliot's violent bully act in the interrogation room, but over the years, more often it isn't an act at all. Chris is not a burden Elliot wants or needs.
Thank you so much for the lovely chatty feedback!
S.