Upheaval (Giles/Xander)
Dec. 13th, 2006 12:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drsquidloveUpheaval
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@virginqueen.com
Archive at NoOne Knows, please Sofy!
A Giles/Xander ficathon gift for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xanphibian - hope this suits! Requests are at the end.
Summary: Buffy dated Principal Wood. Xander dated yet another demon woman who wanted to kill him, and then decided to go gay. Giles hit the roof. And that's a summary of the Season 7 episode 'First Date', not this story. This story is a post-ep.
Moderately Giles/Xander.
Mildly angsty.
Mostly rated G. (and I'll tell you, that doesn't happen often.) Nothing warnable.
Dr Squidlove treasures feedback. Brief, extended, kind, critical. I just like people paying attention to me.
Joss and Mutant Enemy own Buffy and all characters.
Buffy's house had never seemed small until these last few weeks. These days, packed to the rafters with potential slayers and fear, it was smothering. So Giles stood on the back steps, breathing the sharp evening air, wishing desperately for a cigarette.
He'd started carrying a pack since he left. Rarely touched, it was tucked in the corner of his travel bag for moments like this. Now, back in Sunnydale, there it stayed. Even after all the dark corners of his life had been stripped open, even with the marked brevity of their future, Giles still couldn't bring himself to smoke where the children might see him.
He heard the door pushed open behind him, and barely contained his sigh. Surely he'd established himself as poor company tonight.
"You know-" Fabulous. Xander. "A few years ago, if anyone had told me that one day I'd miss the happy-fun Giles, I might have been just a mite sceptical."
Giles lifted his head to the black sky. "Oh, I am sorry. I would have been out on the town myself this evening but I was busy getting a pedicure and scouting out investment properties. Perhaps tomorrow we could double-date. Disneyland, do you think?"
Xander stepped down beside him, looking out over the same deep shadows of the yard. "I'm thinking double-dating might be a wise precaution for me in the future." Their elbows bumped as he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, and out of the corner of his eye, Giles saw him rocking casually on his heels. "And Disneyland... that would definitely call for heavily-armed chaperones..."
"For the love of Christ, Xander-"
There was a moment's pause, Xander regrouping for his next ridiculous joke. His voice, when it came, was quiet. "You really hate when any of us mention the future, don't you?"
Bloody right he did. He glared down at their feet, lined neatly on the step. "You all think this is just another one. Buffy fixes it and you party, but in the meantime let's not let it affect your social lives." He turned to point back inside, and caught Xander watching him, eyes near-black in the dim light, and he tripped on his words, had to gather them back. "There's a, a house full of, of *damned* terrified girls in there, and they seem to be the only ones who truly grasp the seriousness of the situation. Perhaps you're right, perhaps you lot are bloody immortal, but they aren't."
"Speaking as the guy who got stabbed today-"
"Stabbed and rescued. As always." He shook his head, and went down a step, itching for space. "I went home thinking it would give you all a chance to bloody-well grow up, but I'm back and here I am, still monitoring hallways and telling you to behave in class."
"You don't have to do that."
"Don't I?" He swung back to face him. "The world's on the fast lane to hell and Buffy's only concern is coddling Spike, except, apparently, when she's out dating someone else; Willow's put aside research in favour of snooping for gossip, and you... Of everyone here, Xander, I think you're the last who ought to be exercising his own particular brand of romantic pull right now."
Xander should have been offended, but his expression was just... thoughtful. "I've never seen you so afraid."
The flood of words - god, he was babbling like Xander - came to a rattling halt. Yes, he was afraid, such a small word for the churning, exhausting agony that had driven Giles for weeks and when did this lot leave their fear behind?
Giles sat heavily on the step, burrowing his head under his hands, heard the wood creak as Xander settled beside him.
"We know this is different. You think we don't know some people are going to die?"
Giles pulled his head out, but he couldn't look at Xander. "Died. Already dead. More than a hundred, by my count."
That shut him up. He hadn't done the calculations, had he? Sunnydale, his Scooby gang, was his world, and he hadn't properly considered the people outside it.
"Some of the Council must have been friends of yours."
"A few. Along with a good number of the Watchers." Tony. Margaret. Klea. Even Travers, for all the man was a pompous arse. "It hasn't only been friends."
"People who were on our side. Allies."
"Yes."
"This time we really are the last front."
It was like a weight lifting, hearing someone else say it, the first full breath Giles had taken in a good long time.
"That's why you're so afraid," Xander said, softly.
That's why he was so afraid? It was top of a very long list which altered from moment to moment. Right now Giles was afraid because Xander had shifted and his arm pressed to Giles', shoulder to elbow, and Giles didn't know if he could shift away without drawing notice. He wondered how it might appear to someone out there in the dark, the pair of them huddled on the stairs. He wondered how it appeared to his dearly oblivious companion. "This is a poor time to stir up emotions."
"Yeah, I got the stab-o-gram on that one."
"I'm not talking about your one-night ritual sacrifice. I'm talking about people here."
"I know."
The truth was, Xander had grown up more than Giles could ever have expected. He was sadder and calmer and he had a gravity that he hadn't had before, and Giles had been having trouble remembering that Xander was barely more than a child, until tonight.
But the Apocalypse was coming, and this time it came with a capital 'A' and the definite article, and Giles was not going to add to the upheaval.
Xander lifted one foot at a time, stretching them out straight in front of him, letting his ankles dangle off the last step. "I'm afraid because I think I'm finally going to die, and I'm not ready yet."
Giles started to turn his head, but something told him he shouldn't. A new fear crawled to the top of the list.
"Do you know it's almost a year since I left Anya?" There was a pause, as though he expected Giles to fill it. He didn't. "And I've been nothing and nowhere since. The bad's getting bigger, and I'm running out of time for my happy ending."
Running out? They'd run out, but Giles wasn't brave enough to say it. "You thought someone you met this afternoon was going to make you happy ever after?"
He laughed at that, not much more than a breath, but sharp as a stake. "I'm not really banking on ever after, Giles."
"Then what?"
"Something." He lifted his hands, let them drop. "Someone to un-chill the bone-chilling terror. Someone who'll search the rubble for my body first. I'd settle for an evening feeling like I made something of myself that doesn't end with a front-row view of a yawning hellmouth." He patted his stomach, with a sudden wry grin that knotted Giles' insides.
He hadn't bothered to ask, in all his bluster and fury and crazed relief that Xander's date had failed to consummate or kill him. "Are you all right?"
"Stabbed and rescued. Same as always." Xander jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I'm gonna head back in. Got to get some tips from Willow about the whole gay thing." He flashed that goofy dog-grin and stood, and Giles jumped as a hand settled in his hair, stroking it for just a moment. "I'm glad you're still corporeal."
He froze, and the hand stilled, and then it was gone and the door clicked shut behind him.
Giles stared out into the darkness, and wished for a cigarette.
---
end
xanphibian requested:
Xander stroking Giles's hair (or vice versa), Giles in a bad mood where he curses and sneers a little bit, Xander knowing Giles really well (so if Giles is in a bad mood and tells Xander to piss off, Xander can roll his eyes and be all, "Stop it. What's the matter?" instead of being offended.)
And not: sappiness, character bashing
Preferred genres: friendshippy preslash, but some sexiness is fine as long as the focus is on the relationship and how they relate to each other - strong friendship
Maximum rating: R (anything but not smutty)
Hope the unremitting angst and total lack of resolution were okay, xanphibian. ~g~
More Squidfic can be found at
The Lecherous Tentacles of Dr Squidlove
http://members.iinet.net.au/~tentacles/squidfic.html
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@virginqueen.com
Archive at NoOne Knows, please Sofy!
A Giles/Xander ficathon gift for
xanphibian - hope this suits! Requests are at the end.Summary: Buffy dated Principal Wood. Xander dated yet another demon woman who wanted to kill him, and then decided to go gay. Giles hit the roof. And that's a summary of the Season 7 episode 'First Date', not this story. This story is a post-ep.
Moderately Giles/Xander.
Mildly angsty.
Mostly rated G. (and I'll tell you, that doesn't happen often.) Nothing warnable.
Dr Squidlove treasures feedback. Brief, extended, kind, critical. I just like people paying attention to me.
Joss and Mutant Enemy own Buffy and all characters.
Buffy's house had never seemed small until these last few weeks. These days, packed to the rafters with potential slayers and fear, it was smothering. So Giles stood on the back steps, breathing the sharp evening air, wishing desperately for a cigarette.
He'd started carrying a pack since he left. Rarely touched, it was tucked in the corner of his travel bag for moments like this. Now, back in Sunnydale, there it stayed. Even after all the dark corners of his life had been stripped open, even with the marked brevity of their future, Giles still couldn't bring himself to smoke where the children might see him.
He heard the door pushed open behind him, and barely contained his sigh. Surely he'd established himself as poor company tonight.
"You know-" Fabulous. Xander. "A few years ago, if anyone had told me that one day I'd miss the happy-fun Giles, I might have been just a mite sceptical."
Giles lifted his head to the black sky. "Oh, I am sorry. I would have been out on the town myself this evening but I was busy getting a pedicure and scouting out investment properties. Perhaps tomorrow we could double-date. Disneyland, do you think?"
Xander stepped down beside him, looking out over the same deep shadows of the yard. "I'm thinking double-dating might be a wise precaution for me in the future." Their elbows bumped as he shoved his hands in his jacket pockets, and out of the corner of his eye, Giles saw him rocking casually on his heels. "And Disneyland... that would definitely call for heavily-armed chaperones..."
"For the love of Christ, Xander-"
There was a moment's pause, Xander regrouping for his next ridiculous joke. His voice, when it came, was quiet. "You really hate when any of us mention the future, don't you?"
Bloody right he did. He glared down at their feet, lined neatly on the step. "You all think this is just another one. Buffy fixes it and you party, but in the meantime let's not let it affect your social lives." He turned to point back inside, and caught Xander watching him, eyes near-black in the dim light, and he tripped on his words, had to gather them back. "There's a, a house full of, of *damned* terrified girls in there, and they seem to be the only ones who truly grasp the seriousness of the situation. Perhaps you're right, perhaps you lot are bloody immortal, but they aren't."
"Speaking as the guy who got stabbed today-"
"Stabbed and rescued. As always." He shook his head, and went down a step, itching for space. "I went home thinking it would give you all a chance to bloody-well grow up, but I'm back and here I am, still monitoring hallways and telling you to behave in class."
"You don't have to do that."
"Don't I?" He swung back to face him. "The world's on the fast lane to hell and Buffy's only concern is coddling Spike, except, apparently, when she's out dating someone else; Willow's put aside research in favour of snooping for gossip, and you... Of everyone here, Xander, I think you're the last who ought to be exercising his own particular brand of romantic pull right now."
Xander should have been offended, but his expression was just... thoughtful. "I've never seen you so afraid."
The flood of words - god, he was babbling like Xander - came to a rattling halt. Yes, he was afraid, such a small word for the churning, exhausting agony that had driven Giles for weeks and when did this lot leave their fear behind?
Giles sat heavily on the step, burrowing his head under his hands, heard the wood creak as Xander settled beside him.
"We know this is different. You think we don't know some people are going to die?"
Giles pulled his head out, but he couldn't look at Xander. "Died. Already dead. More than a hundred, by my count."
That shut him up. He hadn't done the calculations, had he? Sunnydale, his Scooby gang, was his world, and he hadn't properly considered the people outside it.
"Some of the Council must have been friends of yours."
"A few. Along with a good number of the Watchers." Tony. Margaret. Klea. Even Travers, for all the man was a pompous arse. "It hasn't only been friends."
"People who were on our side. Allies."
"Yes."
"This time we really are the last front."
It was like a weight lifting, hearing someone else say it, the first full breath Giles had taken in a good long time.
"That's why you're so afraid," Xander said, softly.
That's why he was so afraid? It was top of a very long list which altered from moment to moment. Right now Giles was afraid because Xander had shifted and his arm pressed to Giles', shoulder to elbow, and Giles didn't know if he could shift away without drawing notice. He wondered how it might appear to someone out there in the dark, the pair of them huddled on the stairs. He wondered how it appeared to his dearly oblivious companion. "This is a poor time to stir up emotions."
"Yeah, I got the stab-o-gram on that one."
"I'm not talking about your one-night ritual sacrifice. I'm talking about people here."
"I know."
The truth was, Xander had grown up more than Giles could ever have expected. He was sadder and calmer and he had a gravity that he hadn't had before, and Giles had been having trouble remembering that Xander was barely more than a child, until tonight.
But the Apocalypse was coming, and this time it came with a capital 'A' and the definite article, and Giles was not going to add to the upheaval.
Xander lifted one foot at a time, stretching them out straight in front of him, letting his ankles dangle off the last step. "I'm afraid because I think I'm finally going to die, and I'm not ready yet."
Giles started to turn his head, but something told him he shouldn't. A new fear crawled to the top of the list.
"Do you know it's almost a year since I left Anya?" There was a pause, as though he expected Giles to fill it. He didn't. "And I've been nothing and nowhere since. The bad's getting bigger, and I'm running out of time for my happy ending."
Running out? They'd run out, but Giles wasn't brave enough to say it. "You thought someone you met this afternoon was going to make you happy ever after?"
He laughed at that, not much more than a breath, but sharp as a stake. "I'm not really banking on ever after, Giles."
"Then what?"
"Something." He lifted his hands, let them drop. "Someone to un-chill the bone-chilling terror. Someone who'll search the rubble for my body first. I'd settle for an evening feeling like I made something of myself that doesn't end with a front-row view of a yawning hellmouth." He patted his stomach, with a sudden wry grin that knotted Giles' insides.
He hadn't bothered to ask, in all his bluster and fury and crazed relief that Xander's date had failed to consummate or kill him. "Are you all right?"
"Stabbed and rescued. Same as always." Xander jerked his thumb over his shoulder. "I'm gonna head back in. Got to get some tips from Willow about the whole gay thing." He flashed that goofy dog-grin and stood, and Giles jumped as a hand settled in his hair, stroking it for just a moment. "I'm glad you're still corporeal."
He froze, and the hand stilled, and then it was gone and the door clicked shut behind him.
Giles stared out into the darkness, and wished for a cigarette.
---
end
xanphibian requested: Xander stroking Giles's hair (or vice versa), Giles in a bad mood where he curses and sneers a little bit, Xander knowing Giles really well (so if Giles is in a bad mood and tells Xander to piss off, Xander can roll his eyes and be all, "Stop it. What's the matter?" instead of being offended.)
And not: sappiness, character bashing
Preferred genres: friendshippy preslash, but some sexiness is fine as long as the focus is on the relationship and how they relate to each other - strong friendship
Maximum rating: R (anything but not smutty)
Hope the unremitting angst and total lack of resolution were okay, xanphibian. ~g~
More Squidfic can be found at
The Lecherous Tentacles of Dr Squidlove
http://members.iinet.net.au/~tentacles/squidfic.html
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 02:04 pm (UTC)BJC
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 09:10 pm (UTC)Yes, Angry Giles... Gotta love the low-voiced sarcastic fury. He has moments in the show that make me shiver.
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 07:43 pm (UTC)BTW, it's so wonderful that you write G/X - I always loved your stories. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 09:11 pm (UTC)And double-thank you!
no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 08:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-12 09:11 pm (UTC)And thank you for reading even though it wasn't something you'd usually read - that's very cool.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 02:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 11:23 am (UTC)I've only watched S7 a couple of times, hadn't really thought too deeply about a lot of it. So this was interesting to do.
8^-
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 02:56 am (UTC)It will be archived on No One Knows, absolutely.
Thank you so much for participating in the ficathon.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 11:28 am (UTC)So is not resolving anything. ~g~
I just love how adult and insightful Xander is by season seven. He's so beautifully grown-up.
Thanks for the fb!
And thank you for running this ficaton. I've never done one before, and this was a really good jog for the muses. And this landslide of fic, wheeeeee!
8^-
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 03:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 11:46 am (UTC)I'm so glad you like it!
I'd had no idea what to write when I read the request, but I've been cruising through the season seven dvds, and as soon as I finished watching First Date, I realised Joss had got me halfway there.
A Britishly sarcastic Giles-voice isn't all that big a stretch for sarky little me. Heh. And who couldn't love older, wiser Xander?
Thank you! I'm happy now.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 05:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 11:47 am (UTC)And that is one *beautiful* icon. My god, that man is pretty.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 09:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 11:49 am (UTC)You read it anyway! Thank you!
8^-
no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 08:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-12-13 08:56 pm (UTC)Thank you!
The biggest problem in Season 7 is just how little we got to see all the core gang interacting with each other. They all had screentime, but not nearly enough as the core group, or in pairs. Of course, in the whole series, Giles and Xander never had enough one-on-one time... :-)
8^-
no subject
Date: 2006-12-14 10:05 am (UTC)Really great stuff
no subject
Date: 2006-12-15 11:23 am (UTC)I liked S7, but there was definitely room for some fanfic gap-filling.
So much must have been going on in Giles' head, with the destruction of the Council, with being dragged back into it all, with coming back to find himself an outsider, and to find that they hadn't changed in the ways he wanted them to.
no subject
Date: 2006-12-26 05:36 pm (UTC)I liked that Xander saw through Giles' snark and that they had a moment of connection before all hell broke loose. Lovely angst (and hair touch). :)
no subject
Date: 2006-12-27 12:18 pm (UTC)I love the way Xander aged, the way the thoughtful streak that had been obscured by his total teen dork-ness came out. Bless xanphibian, she gave very good prompts.
no subject
Date: 2007-01-10 07:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-12 01:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-07-27 09:19 am (UTC)This line made me tear up. Its beautiful and perfectly Xander-
"Someone who'll search the rubble for my body first."
Cause for Xander its always been about the people in his life. They matter to him. He wants to matter to someone. That's a life lived well for him.
no subject
Date: 2009-07-28 12:38 am (UTC)I can definitely feel for Giles' frustration in season seven, especially once I started writing this and realised that he'd been in the war for months already, since before they even know anything was looming. But you're right; he needs to remember that this is how they handle things.
And yes, so true. Xander's always about the people. Relationships always, before everything else.
Thank you, for the cool fb.
S.