drsquidlove | New York 31/??: The weekend

New York
by Dr Squidlove
drsquidlove@@@livejournal.com

Summary: Xander is thirty-seven. Divorced. Two kids. 4000 miles from Sunnydale and his Hellmouth childhood. Also, straight. Only someone forgot to tell Giles. In fact... where the hell is Giles?

Rated R for sex.

Thanks to gloriana and antennapedia for incredibly helpful mid-construction betas, and lunabee for final checking on the run.

The Buffy universe is the property of Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. Borrowed with all due love and respect.

Please ask before archiving.

Feedback ohgodyesplease.

Full headers are on chapter one.

Wordcount this part: 3278

Previously, in chapter 30: After sexin', Giles and Xander took time out for Chinese, and everything was back to how it was supposed to be. And then there was more sex, Giles' way this time. Not surprisingly, they slept in, but Xander's morning was much-improved when he told Sam about his new direction.

New York
chapter 31: The weekend
by Dr Squidlove

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"And you should have seen Chelsea and all her friends! All they talked about for the last two months was 'I'm going to have the nicest dress,' and 'My date's hotter,' and 'I'll have the best hair,' because they all think they're so cool, and every single one of them had a long straight black dress with a split up the side, and all of them had their hair in french rolls, and all their dates were short. Short, short, short."

Jen hadn't actually stopped for breath since Xander got home, which was probably for the best since that saved 'I had sex with Giles!' from popping out in the breaks. Saying it shouldn't have been so tempting. Kate had rolled her eyes at him and gone to her room to plan space missions until she was dragged out for dinner.

"...all the band guys had made a rope out of their waist-things-"

"Cummerbunds?"

"-yeah and they were having a tug of war in the west corridor..."

Xander took another mouthful of spaghetti.

"...but Diego said he wasn't part of it because he was looking for Alana - oh, poor Alana! She was in the bathroom crying because she dropped her purse and..." Jen stopped like she'd just realised she didn't want to be telling this story.

"And?" Xander prompted.

"It came open and... stuff came out."

"Stuff?"

"You know." Jen went red, all over her cheeks and to her ears. Surely she couldn't mean... "Her stuff. Her personal, you know... mmhptms."

"She had condoms?" Xander's voice jumped an octave. Seventh grade!

"No! Oh my god, Dad!"

Kate choked on her dinner, laughing madly. "Condoms!"

"Her girl-things. Her mmhptms." Xander finally had enough clues to figure out 'tampons'. "They went everywhere!" She threw her arms wide to demonstrate. "Right across the dance floor in front of everyone, all the boys, and the teachers. It was so embarrassing!"

It felt good listening to Jen babble like this. Some time soon she was going to stop telling him things, turn all teenagery and secretive, but for now she could still announce all wide-eyed and shocked that some girl kissed some boy on the mouth, and her amazement was enough to reassure Xander that he didn't have to worry about her doing anything worse than that for a while yet.

Doing things worse than that was for dads. And their boyfriends. It had been a long time since Xander had to concentrate on not thinking about last night's incredible sex while he was in front of the girls, and they'd been a whole lot younger than this. He hoped they didn't notice his own blush. His ass still ached. Couldn't tell them that either.

"..all this totally retro music like Avril Lavigne and Jay Z and it turns out Andres can breakdance like-"

"Wait." Xander rewound. "Jay Z is retro now? Wasn't he big, like, five years ago?"

Jen looked at him like he was stupid. "Yeah. Ages. When I was a kid."

"When I was a kid, music had to at least be from a different decade to be retro."

Kate giggled. "Retro-retro."

Jen took a bite of her pasta, and Xander grabbed the moment to ask Kate, "Did you have a good time at Kitty's?"

Kate shrugged. "Yeah."

"What did you do?"

"We hung out. Played computer games. Her mom's boyfriend made waffles."

What would Kate and Jen think? Hey, kids, Dad might be gay. Pass the parmesan? Xander's mouth dried, and there was the first stab of panic since Giles kissed him last night, knifing right through his gut. Xander pressed a hand there. He didn't really give a damn what the crew would think if he showed up at the Landsman with Giles on his arm, but these two...

"Oh and Dad, you should have seen the suit Carlos wore!"

Xander wasn't going to panic. Conscious decision: no panic. He and Mary had raised the girls to see past that stuff, and they'd always had their Aunty Mich and Petra.

Of course, a dad was different. And they'd never seen Xander with anyone but their mother so maybe gay or straight wouldn't matter so much as Xander betraying Mary.

"...got it from a thrift store in Brooklyn, and you have to take me please, please..."

Xander watched the girls: Jen chattering so much she'd barely touched her dinner, Kate mastering boredom like it was performance art as she helped herself to seconds. Up until now, Xander had been too caught up figuring out what Giles meant to him to wonder how he'd slot Giles into the rest of his life. Or how Xander would slot into Giles' with his Sunnydale ties and his demon-baiting habits.

All the right-now stuff was working out great, but Xander was in no way ready to think about the sort of future things Giles must have been thinking about when he bought his one-way ticket to New York. Which was okay, Xander reminded himself. He hadn't made any guarantees, hadn't promised anything he couldn't deliver. Giles was willing to wait. In the meantime, there was going to be more sex, and Giles wasn't going anywhere.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Usually Xander couldn't wait for the girls to go to bed on Friday nights so he could crash out. They were always hyped up and way-too-ready to remind him that it wasn't a school night. He was at the end of a work-week and about ready to fall over.

Tonight he still couldn't get them to bed early enough, but this time he was wide awake. As soon as he had their main light off, he was skipping down the hall to dial Giles.

"Hey."

"Good evening."

Xander smiled and sat on the bed. 'Hey' was pretty much all he had to say.

"You made it to work on time this morning?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. You? Oh, did you get your letter back?"

"Still sealed in her tray, no one the wiser."

"That's great."

There was another pause.

"Is it okay to call you this late? I just said goodnight to the girls, and-"

"You can call me anytime. I am still awake if that's what you were asking."

"Can't sleep until you master Mumbai in Grand Theft Auto?"

"I... What?"

"You couldn't possibly be kicking back with a glass of Scotch and a dusty old tome. I wouldn't believe it."

There was a soft snort down the line. "I'm learning Aramaic."

"Huh?"

"Aramaic. It's-"

"The Bible language. Mel Gibson gave us all a lesson in that one while you were tripping the dimension fantastic. So, you're learning it just for kicks, or are you thinking about moving again?"

"It's quite a useful language, considering my current field, and it has a fascinating history."

"I'll bet." Xander wondered where Giles was right now. Sitting at the table, books spread out in front of him, tea at his elbow? On the couch, book laid aside when he picked up the phone? Maybe he was in the bed where they fucked last night, phone under his chin and a hand down his pants.

"How are you faring?"

Xander was going to go with the last image. "Good. Could have used a nap this afternoon."

"I meant... You're, you're still... You're all right?"

"You're worried I'm wigging." After a moment of internal debate, Xander decided to skip taking offence and enjoy being worried about.

Giles sighed, obviously hearing both. "Well, you did have your first sexual experience with a man last night, a man, I might add, who was once a quarter-century older than you, and is now your one link back to a past you've been trying to bury for years, not to mention an object of morbid fear to the mother of your children."

"Okay, now I'm wigging."

"Xander-"

"Kidding. But maybe you are."

There was a long wait for a reply to that. Xander lay back on the bed, phone pressed against his cheek.

"I've spent most of the day practising conversations to calm you down and convince you to give me another chance."

"Yeah?" That warmed Xander right through. "So convince me."

"I'm sorry?"

"I'm having a crisis," Xander deadpanned. "I had sex with a man last night, and I feel my masculinity is compromised."

"You are quite insane."

"That's not helping. Now I'm insane and emasculated, and I spent the entire day thinking about how good you felt, and I'm afraid I have to call this whole thing off."

There was a breath of laughter down the phone, and Xander could have sworn he heard the click of glasses being laid aside. "What if I were to tell you how wonderful you were last night?"

Xander grinned up at the ceiling. "Then you would have my attention."

"You can't imagine how many scenarios I have played out in my mind these last few months, but you still surprised me."

Oh, Xander liked this game. "I did?"

"I feel I should have known, knowing the way you give yourself. You don't hold back. You're fearless."

"Fearless is manly."

Giles' voice dropped to a purr. "You have no need to fear for your masculinity."

Xander slid a hand down his stomach and over his crotch, stroking through the denim. "Tell me more."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

The Strand had been Kate's idea, but when Xander came down from the third floor she was so absorbed in yakking on the phone she hadn't picked up a single over-priced coffee table book to beg for. Jen had three.

He was going to have to bring Giles here, show him he could still buy words on paper. Cover his eyes as they passed the ebook terminals and set him loose up in rare books.

"Time to go, girls."

"That's crazy!" It took Xander a second to realise Kate was talking to the phone, not him.

Xander pointed at the pile in Jen's arms. "I said the limit was thirty dollars, so unless they're off the sale table, go put them back."

"Please!"

"Go."

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Kate.

"Kate doesn't have anything, so if I can have her thirty-"

"Go." While Jen stomped up the stairs, Xander tugged Kate's ponytail. "C'mon."

"No way!"

The phone, Xander reminded himself.

Jen joined them in the line clutching a sale-stickered fashion book just as Xander got their bags back. She poked at the paper bag under Xander's arm. "What'd you get, Dad?"

"Something for a friend." Xander still hadn't decided if it was a good idea. He knew Giles would like it, but he didn't know if Giles would take it as some kind of enormous declaration of... something. Giles had a history of overinterpretation when it came to stuff Xander said and did.

"What'd you get for Mr Giles?"

Xander shot Jen a glare. "I have other friends."

"Is it for someone else?"

Xander honestly couldn't tell if Jen was making fun of him. "If you want me to pay for that, hand it over." They got right through the checkout and onto the sidewalk before Kate's call wound up, and she looked around in surprise. "I didn't get anything."

Xander guided her out of the way of rushing pedestrians and gave her a push towards Union Square. "Interesting phone call?"

"Oh my god!" Kate turned to Jen. "Sema's parents are getting back together!"

Xander almost dropped his book.

"No way! Since when?"

"Really?" said Xander weakly. It had been a long time since either of the girls had asked if he and Mary would get back together, and he was even less ready for this conversation than he usually was. What if they were still holding out hope? "Well, that's good."

Kate and Jen both looked at him like he was crazy.

"It's totally weird," said Jen.

"It's the worst! They're just going to start fighting again. This is the third time."

"It's weird," said Jen.

Xander looked back and forth between them. "Oh. You never think about-" He choked off the question. He didn't want them even thinking in that direction, and especially not today.

"You and Mom?" Too late. Jen shook her head. "No."

"Yuck," said Kate.

"Oh," said Xander.

"What's so good about parents living together?" asked Jen.

"It can be okay," said Kate. "Sara's parents are still married, and they're really nice."

"No, Mr Levi's her step-dad. Her birth-dad left when she was a baby. Kylie's parents are still together."

Xander followed mutely as the girls meandered up Broadway, trying to count off friends whose parents were still married. It had always felt like he was some special kind of asshole for ripping up his kids' lives. It had sure felt like it with two little girls crying for weeks when he left and Jen not speaking to him for a month past that. Maybe he wasn't special at all.

"Annie's step-mom is totally cool, way-nicer than her dad. Dad, can we get a soda?" Kate had stopped in front of a bakery.

"Yeah. Yeah, you know, I have a sudden hankering for baked goods. Let's get a table."

They ordered out of the window, and Xander paid and led them to a booth, sat them on one seat and then took the other to face them. He picked his words carefully. "You don't mind that your mom and I don't live together anymore?" The girls looked at each other like they'd already had this conversation between themselves. "You can tell the truth. I really want to know."

"You're nicer. You and Mom." Jen ducked a little as she said it, like it might make him mad.

"I suppose we are."

"We didn't do stuff like this so much before." Kate waved a hand back towards the bookstore.

That was true, too. When they all lived together, weekends used to be for getting chores done around the house, for not being at work. For too many months they'd been about never being in the same room as Mary. Now weekends were all about Kate and Jen and sucking the marrow out of every second he had with them.

Kate shoved her brownie away. "I don't like this. It's got walnuts. Can I have a rugelach instead?"

Xander took a little chunk of the guilt he'd been carrying all these years and put it aside. Randomly, he wondered if he would have liked his own parents better if they'd lived in different houses.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

"Mom!"

Xander wandered out of the kitchen as Mary came in.

"You ready, girls?"

"Can we go to Shrimp House for dinner?"

"Shrimp House!"

She squeezed her eyes shut. "Not tonight."

"Mo-om!"

She winced at the stereo whining.

Xander took a closer look. "Are you all right?"

"Headache. So no, girls, no Shrimp House. We'll find something in the freezer."

Great. If she was in a mood that wasn't going to make this easier. Probably not a good enough reason to put it off, though. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

All three looked at him, and Mary got that suspicious pinch to her expression.

"In there?" Xander jerked his thumb up the hallway.

"Sure." She put her purse on the table and followed him through to his bedroom. As soon as the door closed, Xander wished he'd dragged her to the girls' room instead. They'd had sex in here. Pretty much still in the recently file. Judging by the darting looks she was throwing around the room, she was doing the play-by-play as well. Also not making this easier.

"So this feels kind of stupid, like I'm asking my parents' permission, but it's not. It's just this is a complicated situation, and-"

"Just say it, Xander."

"I slept with Giles."

Yeah, that was unexpected. She dropped the hand that was rubbing her temple and took a moment to gape. "Slept with as in got super-drunk and passed out, or as in got super-drunk and explored your manly side?"

"Neither." He rewound and reviewed. "Probably closer to the second. But not really. I wasn't drunk."

She pushed her hand through her hair, tucking a black strand behind her ear.

"I'm not going to sneak around behind your back, and I don't need your approval for who I date. I'm telling you because it's complicated with us." He wasn't going to back down on this one. She wasn't going to make him give Giles up.

Mary was staring at him again. "So this wasn't a one-off, one night stand aberration. You want to date him."

"Yeah." He couldn't help folding his arms.

She took a couple of steps away and suddenly sat on the bed. "I don't object because he's a man."

"I know."

"In fact, if you'd figured this out while we were married, you could have fulfilled one of my top five fantasies."

Mary and Giles together? He was going to lock that one in his secret box. "Sorry. New development."

She gave him a long, piercing look. "Is it?"

He should have seen that one coming. "Our marriage fell apart because I keep secrets about my thoroughly non-gay past. Not because I, too, was pining after Jon Huertas."

She nodded, accepting that for now. It probably wouldn't be the last he heard of it.

Xander sat next to her, lacing his fingers. "You object because you think he's a mafia hit man who's going to get our daughters killed."

"You haven't given me any reason to believe otherwise."

That was true. "He isn't."

"In the mafia, or putting our children in danger?"

"Either."

She looked him over. "How serious is this?"

Xander turned all his attention to the carpet at his feet. "He's in love with me."

Her indrawn breath was loud. "And you?"

"I don't know." He was a hell of a lot closer to it than he was this time, last week. "I mean, no, but..." She nodded to his relief. He hoped she knew what he meant because he didn't. "It's probably not even going to work out."

"A man. Must be some rug-pull."

"Yeah." He realised something and managed to smile. "Last time the rug pulled this hard, I got a baby girl out of it." This was flipping the world upside down, but it wasn't as scary as sitting on your barely-twenty-year-old girlfriend's bedspread in her dorm room, figuring out how to tell her father you'd knocked her up.

"I don't think that's going to happen this time."

"Probably not."

"I'm glad you told me."

That was a little bit of relief but not enough. "Is it going to be an issue?"

Her answer probably didn't take as long as it felt like. Finally she shook her head. "No. As long as you keep the girls out of it, I'm not going to make a fuss. If it lasts then... we're going to have a much bigger talk than I can handle right now." She stood and headed for the door, turned back as she reached it. "Sweet Jesus, Xander. You and another man? It'll be a wonder if anything that matters gets discussed at all."

Xander smiled up at her. "Don't forget he's Britishly reserved."

She laughed, and it was only a little bit forced. "God help you. Come on. I have to take the delinquents home and then meditate in a very dark room."

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

As soon as they were out the door, Xander was in the shower, out of the shower, throwing on jeans and a shirt and out the front door. Hit the pavement barely ten minutes after Mary and the girls. It was a warm night and early, and the streets were busy enough to skip the taxi and walk.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

end chapter 31

Dr Squidlove appreciates feedback. Tasty, tasty feedback.

Small note. ...or, small note, hee!
This was supposed to be done by now. You may have noticed: it isn't. Which is fine. But it was supposed to be done by now because I'm about to get on a plane and travel, which is going to make my internet time sketchy. I will be continuing to post regularly, but if my time is crunched I'll update story first, answer feedback later, if that's okay.

I will be adoring your feedback. Possibly even rubbing all my tentacles over it. But if I am slow to answer for a while, I am sorry, and here is the excuse I prepared earlier.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

mulder200.livejournal.com

Xander is just full of surprises isn't he, Giles?

"I feel I should have known, knowing the way you give yourself. You don't hold back. You're fearless."

"Fearless is manly."

Giles' voice dropped to a purr. "You have no need to fear for your masculinity."

Xander slid a hand down his stomach and over his crotch, stroking through the denim. "Tell me more."

Mm. Phone sex!

Xander took a little chunk of the guilt he'd been carrying all these years and put it aside. Randomly, he wondered if he would have liked his own parents better if they'd lived in different houses.

If there is one lesson that children of divorce learn, it's that sometimes parents are better off not together.

Wow! And that talk with Mary went better than I thought it would. Well, at least for now.

From:

New York 31/??: The weekend - Giles/Xander

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags